So, I must apologize for the delay in newer posts…I’ve been quite the busy bee lately, with much to update.  There is one dilemma that has been weighing heavily on my mind and I’ve been itching to share–the one of the ambiguously gay hookup.  I have this friend, Ian, who claims to be straight…yet insists on trying on high heels, kissing our mutual gay friend and says he would not mind fucking a guy when he’s drunk.  Now, I’m an open minded gal, but even I have to question…what is this guy doing?  Is he about the peen?

Now, I had ruled him completely out as a hookup option until a few weeks ago, when on just a regular Sunday night, a group of my friends were smoking and drinnking and the light, and suddenly I was inexplicably attracted to this fool…and he didn’t seem to think I was too bad either.  Uh oh.  This could only be solved by a gay conference.  I pulled my friends Mauricio and Aaron to the side. 

“What the FUCK is going on with you and Ian?”

“Um, I think I want to have sex with him.”

“Oh, well.  Just making sure.  Go for it.”

Ten minutes later, I was pulling Ian into Mauricio’s skanky bathroom and making out with him against a wall.  Hmm.  Ian is a good kisser.  Almost too good.  Kinda soft.  Kinda like kissing a girl.  It was about this time that I realized this was almost exactly like that one time I experimented with my friend Gina in the back of the bus in middle school.  Fuck.  Ian was awkwardly trying to stick his hand down my pants, then trynna cop a feel, just as if he had read it out of the “Straight Guy Guide Book”, you know, the one that says that you have to grab your crotch ten times in a conversation and grab a girls boobs ten seconds into a makeout sesh.  It was almost too rehearsed.

Okay, Ian.  We’re done here.  I peeled myself off the bathroom wall just long enough to tell Ian we should get back to the burning joint and scampered out of the bathroom.

Now, two nights later, in a very randy and lonely night, I suddenly found myself, Blackberry in hand, sending a flirty message to Ian.  And he responded accordingly.  Siiiigh.  I’m sooooo over sexual amibiguity.

In a conference with Aaron, he tells me that he does indeed think Ian is gay, but why not let him hit it.  It wouldn’t mean anything to either of us, since we’re both about the cock, but why not pass the time together?  Now, I’m conflicted: to fuck, or not to fuck?