So, there is one code in girl world that one must absolutely, positively, never ever break.  Of course, last Tuesday (it was finals week, for God’s sake!) I made that cardinal error–I hooked up with one of my best friend’s former hookups.

 I know, I know.  It was a huge mistake, but let me explain the circumstances of how a girl can lose all willpower and go against girl code.

Let me just preface this by saying: it had been a horrific day.  I had learned that my ex-boyfriend was dating someone new via Facebook (gotta love technology!) and had just seen Evan (yes, the object of my affection the night I almost decided to roofie a boy) with his brank spanking new and may i add UGLY girlfriend.  I was not in good spirits.  All this taken into account, I decided to bring a bottle of warm, cheap white zinfandel with me to my job on the school paper and down it as I completed some of my end of the semester duties. 

Drunk off a bottle of cheap ass wine, I stumbled my way back to my friend Mark’s apartment where Brandon, my roommate’s Sadie’s former fling, lives, too.  They’d only hooked up once or twice, but he’s her go-to guy whenever she’s drunk and needing to text someone for some flirtation. 

I’d inadverantly stumbled into a pseudo-party.  Twenty of my closest acquaintances were at Mark’s smoking, drinking and grinding to the most random collection of music.  An average Tuesday when you’re a sophomore in a Manhattan university. Suddenly, Evan appeared out of nowhere (he happens to be good friends with Mark, too) to smoke some chronic and toss back a few beers.  Suddenly, I couldn’t take it anymore.  Here, in a city of 8 million people, the very boy I was trying to avoid and drown out with cheap alcohol was right in front of my face.

It was gross, but I needed to feel validated by a guy.  Evan had rejected me for some frumpy blonde who carried her belongings around in a weird potato sack.  I needed a man to make me feel like a hot piece again.  Now, the only available males in the apartment happened to be Mark and Brandon.  Mark, a flaming homosexual wasn’t going to solve my problem.  I zeroed in on Brandon.

We kept making eyes at each other all night (probably due to the copious amounts of Il Bastardo consumed).  Within minutes, we were pushing past Evan to get to Brandon’s bedroom.  Suddenly, I realized that I was ripping off the clothes of the man that just the night before I had been encouraging Sadie to rekindle things with.  FUCK.  What was I doing???????  I was having sex is what I was doing.  Fun, drunk, sloppy, validation sex. 

OH MY GOD.  I had just FUCKED Sadie’s go-to guy.  What the hell kinda person was I????  Minutes after Brandon fell asleep, I threw my clothes back on and made my way back to my apartment.  Stumbling back into my bedroom, I ran into Sadie in the living room.

“How was your night?” she asked, oblivious to who had been on top of me just half an hour before.

“Uhh, fine,” I answered.

The next morning, I woke up with a MEAN ass headache and a wave of guilt that has completely consumed my mind the past few days.  What the hell should I do?  Have I finally crossed the Smut line?